I remember sitting in the Soldier For Life-Transition Assistance Program (SFL-TAP), and listening to the instructor’s thoughts on how to be successful in the private sector. They provided resources for resume writing, interview preparation, and how to translate Army experience to “corporate speak”. But as I thought about my military career, I kept thinking about what my life would look like when I stepped back into the world as a civilian. Finding a job or a place to live is one thing. Finding your identity after years in military culture, and building a new life, is another.
That may sound a bit dramatic, but my Army experience had a lot to do with my identity. When I enlisted, I wanted to earn my Infantry Blue Chord and Airborne Wings. Then it was the Green Beret, and so on. My story was written on my uniform, and I’d built my life around the special operations community. I could learn how to write a resume, but nobody could teach me how to be a civilian. The Army gives you a lot, but once you leave and that door closes, it’s closed. “Thank you for your service and good luck.” is what all of us, regardless of our jobs, deployments, or awards, receive in the end.
So, I reached out to friends to learn their stories. People who left the service years or months before I did. Some people I spoke with were doing well, while others were struggling. They all chose unique paths, and the more I spoke with them, the more I internalized how different their lives were. They were entrepreneurs, government employees, corporate types, and the list goes on. Some had new family additions and prioritized watching their children grow up, something they missed with their older kids while they were on active duty. Others were driven to earn as much money as possible for various reasons. A few were officially retired and wanted to travel the world. Some were lost and still finding their way. There wasn’t a clear answer as to what worked or didn’t work for them.
I learned that my future wasn’t defined yet. That may seem obvious, but embracing the unknown after years of military structure is a difficult process. I knew I needed to be honest with myself about what I valued. For me, that was my family and supporting others where I could. I also knew that I wanted to stay in the south, preferably near a beach. After a lot of reflection, I started to build out what I wanted my new life to look like.
There’s real freedom in the unknown, including the freedom to make mistakes. Enjoy that freedom. After fighting many years for others, you’ve earned it. Reach out to other veterans. Explore different career options and places to live. Be ready to confront your fears and insecurities, and be honest about what you want out of your new life. Reconnect with family and friends, or start fresh if that makes more sense for your situation.
The Army will always be a part of who I am, but it isn’t all of me, and it’s not all of you either. There are veterans out there, me included, that can help you on your way to build a new life apart from the uniform. I wish you the best, and I hope you enjoy the journey.