Crisis comes for us all. At some point in our lives, things will not go according to plan. Confusion, disappointment, anxiety, and other stressors can dominate the psyche, leading us down a canal of negative thoughts and poor decisions. In this situation, a crisis is born. I will share my personal crisis situations and how I used resilience to build positive outcomes and right my ship.
In 2008 I graduated high school and started my first semester at college. I roomed with my older brother who had already been there for two years. By the start of his junior year, he declared his major in chemical engineering and successfully completed two paid internships over his summer breaks with a major gas and oil firm in Texas. Being the youngest of two, I dutifully tried to follow suit. I set sail for the journey that was expected of me. My mom and dad were ecstatic.
In 2009 I dropped out of college and moved back in with my parents. College had not gone well. I didn’t know why I was there or what I wanted out of life. My ship was off course. I felt like a failure. All the high expectations…all the hard work…my plans for the future…was it all for nothing? My head swirled with negative thoughts. This was my first crisis situation. I anchored myself with the support of my mom and dad. I still didn’t know what I wanted out of life or what success meant to me, but I knew what it wasn’t – sitting at my parents’ house as a college dropout with no discernable life direction. I knew I had to move forward. I couldn’t let the hardship of the situation keep me from being successful, even if I didn’t know what success was. I had to recover. I had to right my ship.
In 2010 I enlisted in the US Army. It supplied immediate passage out of my parents’ house and would allow me to experience new things while building a career. I enlisted as a Special Forces Recruit, meaning I would be earmarked to go to all the schools and training necessary to make a Green Beret. If I passed, I would join the ranks of the Army’s elite, quiet professionals. If I failed, the army could put me in whatever job they wanted. These were the conditions of the contract, and I was fine with it because this was MY path. For the first time in my life, I made a decision without thinking about what my mom and dad would think or what people around me expected. This path was 100% me and failure was not an option. Over the course of 24 weeks, I completed Basic Training, Advanced Individual Training, Airborne School, and the Special Forces Preparation and Conditioning Course which was designed to prepare you specifically for Special Forces Assessment and Selection (SFAS) – the three-week crucible that would decide whether or not you would officially start training to be a Green Beret. I had a treasure trove of new skills, knowledge, and friends from all the training I had done and was ready to crush SFAS. I was ecstatic.
In 2011 I failed SFAS. My plan was shot, and I was off course again. I was in familiar territory but somehow it felt different. This path was 100% mine, and no one could take credit for the decision, expectation, and subsequent failure but me. I felt like I was drowning. This was my second crisis situation. Attempting to recover, I told myself, “you did it once, you can do it again.” I remembered why I joined the Army in the first place – to experience new things while building a career. Both goals were still very attainable regardless of where the Army sent me. Forged in the fires of fresh failures, I was strong.
I was assigned to the 82nd Airborne Division as an infantryman. When I arrived, I was the lowest ranking person in the company. We were scheduled for a 12-month combat deployment in less than a year and as the most inexperienced person, I was a liability to myself and those around me. I didn’t know the equipment, the tactics, or how to support the team. Determined to make my ignorance a temporary state, I volunteered for everything. Every task, no matter how minute or degrading, I was the first to step up. I devoted myself to my craft, reading technical manuals and studying standard operating procedures. People started to know me not as a liability but as a hard worker and dependable teammate. My leadership noticed too. The company commander, a former West Point graduate, told me I should consider applying. The company first sergeant told me if I didn’t apply, it would be the worst mistake of my life. I started my application that night.
In 2012, I deployed to Afghanistan. We were sent to the Kandahar Province in southern Afghanistan adjacent to the Pakistan border. My company was split into two smaller units. The bulk of the company was sent to a forward operating base to support the higher headquarters. My platoon, along with a platoon of scouts and an Afghan National Army platoon, were sent to a combat outpost to conduct presence patrols in an area known for its high improvised explosive device (IED) activity. After 3 months in country, I received word that my West Point application had been accepted. I was going to attend West Point starting in the summer of 2012 and had to return home immediately.
In 2016, I graduated from the United States Military Academy at West Point and rejoined the Army as an officer. I was selected for the Ordnance Corps with a reserved slot for Explosive Ordnance Disposal (EOD) training. After two years of training, I joined the Army’s bomb squad as an EOD technician. I was sent to Alaska for my first assignment and travelled to Hawaii, Sri Lanka, and Singapore for explosives training. Before leaving Alaska, an opportunity to better myself arose. The Army was looking to send an infantry officer to Nepal for training. There were little details about the training except that it would last three months, overlapping Thanksgiving and Christmas. When no one volunteered, they opened up the training to officers of all branches and I seized the opportunity for growth. After the most uncomfortable, unpredictable, and unforgettable three months of my life, I graduated the Counter Insurgency Jungle Warfare School in Nepal. I returned to the US, attended the Army’s pre-command course, and took command of a stand-alone bomb squad responsible for disposing of explosive hazards in three states, supporting US Secret Service with VIP bomb detection, and deploying with Special Forces. After 15 months of successful command, I was accepted into Vanderbilt University’s Owen Graduate School of Management where I am currently pursuing my MBA.
Success is not an accident. Failures are opportunities for learning, growth, and development if you weather the storm. Resiliency is a habit that must be repped and drilled until it is so familiar to your psyche that in a crisis, your default reaction is one of mental toughness and perseverance. By righting my ship in crisis situations, I was able to turn small wins into positive outcomes and create enduring success.
In 2023, I am happy.