Setting Out into the Real World

Sometimes life may throw things at you, and you may begin to second guess your decision. It happens to the best of us. The important thing to remember is that you made the decision for a reason, and it is and will be worth it. '16

If you feel lonely, try to build friendships from work. Go out to new places and strike up conversations with new people. If you have acquaintances or friends in your city, meet up with them and try to build a bigger group of some new and old faces! ‘21

Weekends can be more fun than in college. Weekdays are horrible. '16

Just go for it. If you've done the work, the transition won't be so bad. If you know no one else in the area, try to find a roommate or join Facebook groups that will help you at least find some people to start out with. And if that fails, you always have coworkers! '17

I found new friends both during and after Vanderbilt through joining intramural sports leagues! It's a great way to stay fit while making friends with people who share a common hobby. ‘21

Give yourself six months at minimum to settle in before you start evaluating how much you actually enjoy your new city and what you're doing. Just like college, the first bit can be quite the whirlwind and therefore not appropriate to assess just yet. '16

It may be tough to leave school and enter real life. We all feel it. Make friends with those a little older than you and ask them for advice. Wisdom is found in some very unexpected places. '21

We're in the middle of a pandemic and recession. Go easy on yourself. (It's easy to tell this to other people, but harder to internalize for ourselves. Seriously, please take this to heart, set low expectations, and even if you're just getting through each day, that is more than enough. '20

Everyone's trajectory is different, so be wary of comparing yourself to your peers. Some people will go to grad school, some have amazing jobs, some might have negative job experiences yet post amazing things on social media. No graduate's next steps are better than another's-they are what they are! Be proud of what your next steps are, no matter what they are. '16

I moved to an area where there was no one from my hometown or Vanderbilt, but I found friends through work, through Bumble friends, and through mutual friends. I regularly keep in contact with my family which has helped. I love and value all the new friends I've made. '21

It's weird going from living with all of your friends within five minutes to everyone spread out across the country. Especially if you're moving away from family/friends. Make time to call/text your friends and family. Explore your new city. Finding friends can be hard-a roommate can honestly be so helpful for both your budget and your mental health. Give yourself some grace as you adjust-I swear it gets easier. '19

Look for a community that you vibe with! Personally I always look for a church in the area I'm moving to and oftentimes make great friends that way. '18

Make friends in your new city as quickly as you can. A social group makes all the difference in feeling at home. '17

Travel while you can!! If you have time before starting your job, go explore the world because unfortunately you'll be tied down for some time after. '17

Remember when all of the adults kept telling you that growing up is not so easy? Well, they weren't totally wrong. No one gets excited about buying new tires for Christmas. Finding ways to treat yourself every now and then will really help you stay positive and ensure that you've got something to look forward to. While saving and budgeting is important, set aside the money for a monthly treat--a movie or a sushi dinner can be a great way to self-care! '16

Find something in life you really enjoy and invest into it, whether it's time or money. This will be an anchor in your life whenever things aren't going well in other areas. '19

Life after graduation is going to feel weird at first. You've spent nearly your entire life with the identity of a student and for most of you reading this, that may no longer be the case. It's a huge shift. For example, no longer are your closest friends right across the hall from you or a short 10-minute walk away; you have to put more efforts into maintaining your friendships. But, on the plus side, no longer are you staying up late worrying about papers and final exams. There are highs and lows to this transition and just learning to embrace all of those emotions is a step in the right direction. You'll eventually have a sense of security and identity in this new chapter of your life. '20

Make sure that you find a community wherever you are whether it's through a hobby, religious organization, work, etc. Having a group of people you can spend time with and a local support network is something that is very important, especially if you are living in an area where you don't have family or friends already. Find ways to stay busy and keep your mind active. '19

Lean on your support system. It is very hard to have your friends spread out all over the country and have to essentially start over. You will eventually be able to rebuild a social group through work or grad school, but it's OK to take some time to regroup with family or close friends before putting yourself out there again. '18

No matter how much you think you are ready for the transition, you really aren't. And that is OK! You and your friend group will all be having different experiences post-graduation, so don't compare yourself-everyone learns differently. Give yourself the space to change your mind, take care of your physical and mental health, and embrace the learning process. '18

Try to stay in touch as much as possible. Monthly phone calls or FaceTime go a long way. '21

Moving to a new city and having your life completely change overnight can be hard on your mental health, and it could continue to be hard for years. Lean on the people who love you and get a therapist who you like. '17

Get out of the U.S., get out of your usual social circle, become an outsider in some way and learn from it. '18

It's quiet and lonely compared to a college campus. Stay in contact with people. Once you get some cash, get a hobby/invest in your hobbies. Money is magic. '18

Be kind to yourself. It's not an easy time and even if you're really excited you're bound to get homesick or sad that college is over and the real world is hitting. It's completely normal, and as you settle in to your job and city it'll fade. Making friends is harder but you just have to put effort in. Make friends with co-workers, go to workout classes or other classes you're interested in, play club sports. Getting a dog really helped me feel not so alone. Make choices that will make you happy and have a good mental state. Find a balance of having the lifestyle that makes you happy that is affordable. Take care of yourself, stay active. Work will get crazy but make time to take care of yourself and you'll be much happier. And always remember, there's nothing wrong with going back to your hometown. '17

Find an interest or two and stick to it, maybe find a Facebook group that does it in your area. Take walks and schedule things to look forward to during the weekend. '20

Make sure you get along with your roommates. Especially in a place like NYC, living quarters are tight so your friendship needs to be even tighter. There is no "new housing assignment" next semester. You could be stuck with them for a while. '18

Know yourself. If you like to be alone, live alone. If you thrive around others, get roommates (pick carefully). '20

You will need to take initiative and make a concerted effort to form relationships after college. You will no longer be forced to live entirely with people your own age and life-stage, so you will need to seek those people out. Pick up a new social hobby, like rock climbing, that will allow you to meet recent grads in a laid-back setting. Reach out to your local Vanderbilt Alumni Association chapter to see if they have any resources for recent grads. If you are religious, church and small groups are a great way to make friends. Seek out churches with a dedicated young professionals ministry and a large population of recent grads. '20

You won't get everything right the first time, and that is ok. Don't be afraid to ask for help from parents or other more experienced adults in your life. They can offer you practical advice and wisdom that only comes from true experience. '16

There aren't as many extracurriculars after college, so you have to work a little harder to form a sense of community. Whether it's an intramural sports team, weekly volunteering, or a social group, make the effort to work an activity into your schedule early on in the transition. '18

Finding a routine and learning to embrace alone time. ‘23

Make sure you seek to find community. It will take time, but that is such an essential part of transitioning out of college. It will also take longer because you will not be able to see them as much as your friends at Vandy because of work and living farther apart, but find friends. It will make life much more enjoyable. Also, note that your definition of fun may change. '17

Community has definitely been the hardest thing to find when moving to a new city. Find something you are passionate about outside of work, and find a group you can get involved with. I know some people do young adult intramural type leagues. For me, I joined a young adult group at a nearby church, and that’s provided great community for me. Highly recommend! ‘22

Once a month I write down goals, and once a month, on another day, I reflect on how the goals are going. It's nice to split my goals into small chunks like this so that they don't seem too daunting. '16

I lean heavily on my Google Calendar to help me achieve professional goals, since I use the task feature to put items on my to-do list for each day, and I get a rush of serotonin when I check things off! I still need to explore methods to make personal goals.’23

Make sure you always have your basics covered before you try for more. Don't overstretch yourself until you have a routine established, at that point you'll be itching for more! '17

I set small deadlines along the way to the larger goal. I have occasionally used a web software called Trello to track my progress towards a big goal. '18

Write down your goals and put them somewhere you'll see them. '20

Practice grace-give yourself grace when your expectations are not met or you perceive a situation as a failure. As Vanderbilt students, it is sometimes difficult to remember that the best learning experiences come out of situations in which you were not perfect. '17

Revisit your goals every few weeks to see what's working out for you and what strategies need to be adjusted. Involve an accountability buddy who is as invested in you achieving a goal as you are. '20

Have a side hustle. Something that helps advance your career that is unrelated to your current job. '18

I set calendar blocks that allow me focused time on personal objectives.’22

Spend some time everyday doing something that moves your towards a goal. But you don't need to rush into this right after graduating. Enjoy your time post-gradation, goals you'll have will form naturally over time, then build towards them.’22

Write down your goals and make plans or timelines to help you achieve them. It is OK if you are not working toward your goals all the time (we all need a break!), but have a plan to keep yourself accountable for your growth. Stagnancy is not it and investing in yourself is the best form of self-care. '18

I tell other people my goals and how I plan to achieve them. They can give feedback and encouragement and hold me accountable. '20

Success doesn't come easy, but you should never be miserable (for too long) trying to achieve it. By this, I mean that you're going to be stressed and tired and busy sometimes, but it's worth it. When you're stressed and tired and busy all the time … rethink your goals and see if there isn't a better, more pleasant way of getting there. '20

Tell someone else what you want to achieve and when you want it to happen. External accountability is hard to find, so you may have to create it. '19

Write them out and work on them at your pace. Don't be hard on yourself. Remember, they are your goals. '21

Know your values and align your goals to that. Remember that they can always change, and it is not a failure to decide to change goals. '21

It's all about discipline. You can't really trust motivation by itself--there will be so many times when you're just not motivated. It's difficult, but just force yourself to take the steps that are necessary to reach your goals. '17

Moving home is a wonderful financial option, and it can definitely provide some mental/emotional stability as well. Make sure to communicate with your family members and set boundaries as needed. It is different living with parents as an adult. It may take some adjusting and reminders for all parties involved. Block off time to spend by yourself or out of the house so that you don't feel like you've lost your independence and privacy. '18

It's OK. You're not a failure, or a loser, if you have to move back in with your parents. Not everyone gets a cool high-powered job in NYC or into the graduate school of their dreams on their first try. It happens to WAY more people than you think! Regroup, reorganize, make a plan, and enjoy the free food while you can. YOU WILL BE OK!! '16

Set boundaries and remember you are an adult now. Find independence where you can. '20

Cherish time with family, while also giving yourself the freedom to act independently.’22

Enjoy your parents! Enjoy the money you save, develop a different relationship with your family. Honestly a great thing even if your home is not in the best place (I moved back to Eastern Kentucky). You will really appreciate the time with parents later on. '18

Take this time to sort out your goals, identify what will make you feel fulfilled, and enjoy the time you spend with your family/loved ones. '18

Set boundaries and expectations if you'll be living with your family. You're an adult and should be treated as such but still need to respect the others in the house. Discuss how things will work with your family. Will you be eating what they eat and helping cook, or will you be on your own for meals? If you want to have someone over, how will you navigate that? If you stay out late just make sure you come in quietly and lock the doors behind you. It's not awful living at home; you just have to figure out how to coexist. It's easy to fall into the trap of not meeting new people because you have your family as a safety bubble; when things get weird you can just stay home with them. Resist doing this all the time and still go out and do the things to make friends and meet people that you would if you didn't live at home. I know moving back home can be frustrating, but you'll be saving money most likely, and it's also nice to be around family. I didn't realize how much I missed mine until I lived away for years, and coming back home was so nice. '17

Be respectful! Help out, remember your place, and enjoy the opportunity. '20

Enjoy family time, as it is valuable. Family is not just the most important thing; it is the only thing. '21

Moving home is wonderful right after graduation. You have some time to wind down and evaluate your future without paying rent and without having the huge stressors of living on your own. At some point, if you find yourself feeling miserable, dependent, and socially isolated there, maybe it's time for you to move on. '18

Don't freak out if you don't have a job lined up after graduation. You're NOT a failure! I was so self-conscious while I was living at home and searching for a job, because I felt like everyone was judging me. Looking back now, that wasn't true at all. AND now I have an amazing job that I absolutely love. You just have to trust that things will work out exactly how they are supposed to. '16

Show gratitude toward your parents, especially if you're living with cheap or no rent! Help out around the house, buy groceries, etc. '17

Take this time to save! Once you move out, it gets so much harder to put away money. '17

Save money! Think about high yield savings accounts for the money you're saving, investing in ETFs, opening IRAs or 401Ks, etc. ‘21

The Vanderbilt Alumni Association is incredible. Through events and other offerings, I've stayed in contact with most of my class who live in NYC in addition to meetings dozens of new 'Dores who either graduated before me or went to one of the professional schools. '16

Regular Zoom calls, FaceTime, SnapChat, sending TikToks back and forth. Basically whatever we have time for at the time. It's absolutely worth the time and effort put into staying connected. '19

We schedule a biweekly FaceTime to catch up and talk! Also never underestimate the power of just a quick text "hello" or a funny meme. '18

I call people sporadically whenever I have a long car ride or am going for a walk. Surprise phone calls are usually welcome and, even if the person is not available, you can usually set up another time for you both to connect. '19

The smallest reach-outs keep you close (an insta message, a photo memory). '20

My close friends from VU have a Netflix party session once a month and we FaceTime right before we watch the movie. '16

Virtual sport game viewing parties. '19

I call my friends and try to plan periodic trips with them. Being in person is so helpful for fostering connections. '21

Group chats, writing letters, organizing fantasy basketball leagues, and just sending the occasional text from time to time. '19

Social media, snail mail notes, FaceTime, and reunions every couple of years for those within 2-3 hours. '18

Coordinating vacations together and making time for each other virtually or in person helps to maintain strong ties. '18

I plan weekend trips with them, and when I travel for work to a town where my VU friends are I make sure to set aside time to see them. '21

I have a "life update" group chat with some of my former roommates and other friends, where we try to periodically keep each other up to date on our goings-on (and send memes 🙂 ). I also try to periodically check in with friends from a student org I was involved in at Vanderbilt. But, it's totally natural to be more present with friends you make in your post-grad life--try not to feel too guilty!’23

Frequent calls! '20

I have been able to keep in touch with dear friends by letter, which has been such a happy experience. '20

Share weekly highs and lows! Life might get too busy for a regularly scheduled FaceTime and you'll probably be all in different time zones, but you're never too busy to send a text once a week. Then when you do have time to meet up or call, you're still clued in to each other's lives, and it's so much fun to hear how everyone else is navigating post-grad life. '21

To this day, we keep our Secret Santa tradition alive around the holidays and mail gifts to each other and open them over a big Zoom call. '18

Create Facebook or iMessage chats with your different friend groups. Keeping up with a group is easier than keeping up one-on-one, because between everyone in the group, there will always be something going on. '20

I created a GroupMe of Vandy in Atlanta people that I knew (2017 grads mainly), and then each of those people added others that they knew. It's a great way to have people to do stuff with. '17

I write letters to my friends! Yes, real letters with envelopes and stamps. It's a great way to update friends on what you're up to, without the awkwardness of a random text about yourself. Plus, everyone loves getting a letter in the mail! '16

Texting is great, but nothing beats a good old-fashioned phone call. '16

Go back to Homecoming together! ‘22

We schedule biweekly Skype chats! It's great to chat and catch up. Also, if you have a long walk to or from school, use those walks to call people to stay in touch. '18

I chat with my girls every week and we are very intentional about staying in touch whether through planning trips or just a monthly debrief. ‘23

Make an effort to go to homecoming your first fall after graduation. You'll know the most underclassmen and they'll be so happy to see you again! '18

Keep telling your friends happy birthday, and wish them happy holidays. Don't forget about them! There's Facebook, Snapchat, all kinds of social media to stay connected. '17

Plan a yearly reunion and pick a new location each year-that way you can see everyone's new cities! '17

Make sure you engage with your local alumni chapter as soon as possible! They have fun events and it's a great way to reconnect with old friends and make new ones! '18

My friends and I have kept our old group text messages and Snapchats alive. Also, take the time to reach out frequently. Whenever I stumble across something that makes me think of a friend from Vanderbilt, I don't hesitate to share it with them and use the opportunity to catch up. Finally, as I am living in Nashville, I have an open-door policy. If any of my Vanderbilt friends are passing through Nashville or want to visit, they are always welcome to crash on my couch! '18