Pet Store or Bordello?

Collected by Amarantha S. Bissell (amarantha.s.bissell@vanderbilt.edu)

Summary I:ncorporation of small rodents into sexual practice goes horribly awry

Text: These two men are felching-a sexual act wherein a gerbil is inserted into one's anus so that the squirming (death throes) of the animal produce sexual pleasure-and something goes wrong in so far that the animal gets stuck inside this man's colon. His partner decides to investigate, and so lights a lighter/match to see better what could be the problem/obstruction. The flames ignite a pocket of methane in the man's anus, producing intense burns not only on the inside of one partner's rectum and the other one's face, but also sending a flaming projectile gerbil smack into the explorative partner's forehead. Both men end up in the Emergency Room, yet survive; the gerbil, however, does not.

Notes: I've heard this one before a few times. There is a variant of this tale, reported to be the origin of the tale, wherein supposedly Hollywood actor Richard Gere gets a gerbil stuck in his anus. This variant does not involve projectile rodents or flames, however. The tale seems so strange and preposterous that it feels like it could actually be true. I have also heard reports from two geographically separate EMT's who say that they have had to respond to similar distress from felchers. In analyzing the tale, one could extrapolate that is a cautionary tale against sexual deviance, not too peculiar in a nation so utterly homophobic.

Context:
A. Brief summary of tale: incorporation of small rodents into sexual practice goes horribly awry.
B. Tale type and motifs: animal tale, sexual mishaps/deviance
C. Comments on tale: this tale is so utterly strange that I love it.
D. Approximate date informant first heard the tale: junior year in high school
E. Relationship of your informant with the individual from whom the informant heard the tale: friend
F. Circumstances when tale was first heard: most likely, 'shooting the bull' in the hallway
G. Give the following information on your informant:
Age: 18
Sex: female
Place of birth: Jamaica
Ethnic group: Caucasian
Languages spoken: English, some French
Religion: 'pagan tendencies'
Year in school (or education level if not a student): college freshman
Extracurricular jobs: volunteer at battered women's shelter
Date Collected: 3 November 1998