The following gives you a method for revising your sentences. I will frequently ask you to lanhamize sentences from your essays, and I'll also expect you do it on your own.
 
    The same principle that helps you check for grammatical correctness can help you evaluate whether your sentences really say what you mean them to.  When you check for grammar, make sure that there is a subject and a verb, and then check that the thought is complete.  When you check for clarity, the key is to make sure that the subject and verb are the right ones.  The key question to ask is, "What is doing what?", or, "What subject and action are at the center?"

     For example, "Scholarly material must be organized" is a complete sentence; it is grammatically correct.  But the passive verb form "must be organized" hides an important fact: you can't tell from the sentence who must do the organizing.  You know what must be organized, but the sentence conceals who is responsible for organizing that material.

    That may be just what you mean to do; what you may want to talk about is the scholarly material, not the scholars (or students or administrators) who are responsible for organizing it. But it is always important to check to make sure that your sentence points to the do-ers and the doing you want it to.

 Here's why:  take a look at this sentence and ask, "What is doing what?", or "What subject and action are at the center?"

It is the responsibility of those who write in a scholarly manner to order their material in a clear way so that their material will have been, by them, appropriately organized.

This sentence is grammatically correct, and it is highly complex.  But the author of such a sentence may be misled into thinking that the sentence says much more than it really does.  Note that the grammatical subject and verb -- the main subject and verb -- of the sentence are "It" and "is."  Nothing happens there, at least nothing that is important to the sentence.  Note also that "those who write in a scholarly manner" says nothing more than "scholars," and that even a phrase like "in a clear way" is just a wordy way of saying "clearly."  Note finally that the passive verb "will have been organized" in the last part of the sentence is an unnecessary lengthening of the more concise," . . . they will have appropriately organized their material."

But the problem is not just that the sentence is unnecessarily wordy.  More important is the way the sentence falsely appears to contain two ideas, in which the second explains the first:  "Scholars do A, so that they can do B."  In fact, the sentence only says, "Scholars do A, so that they will have done A":  it's like saying, "I go to the store, so that I can have gone to the store."  The author of the sentence may think he or she has provided an explanation for why scholarly writers must organize their material; but in fact, the only explanation provided is that when they have organized their material, they will have organized their material.

You can follow a simple process to make sure you have gotten to the heart of any sentence:

 1.  Circle the main subject and the main verb.  Are they really the ones that say what is happening in your sentence?  Do they show everything you want to about what is doing what?

 2.  Circle all of the prepositions -- the little words like "of," "in," "by," "to," etc. . . .  Are there real subjects or verbs hidden in those phrases?  If so, should they be written out as subjects or verbs?

    For instance, in the example above, you would circle "It is," and you would realize that these words can't really be what the sentence is about.  ("It is" doesn't tell you anything; the words don't show you anything.)  The sentence is really about "those who write in a scholarly manner," and the activity the sentence is about is their having a responsibility to organize their material.  So you can get to the heart of the sentence and see that the center of the sentence is: Those who write in a scholarly manner have to organize their material.

But if you circle the preposition "in" and check to see what that part of the sentence is really about, you find that "those who write in a scholarly manner" are, simply, "scholars."  The same is true of "in a clear way" in the second part of the sentence:  you can change that to "clearly."  Other phrases built around prepositions can be similarly shortened in a way that shows you what the phrases are really about:  "the book by the scholar" can become "the scholar's book."

    But notice that "the scholar's book" can also mean, "the book belonging to the scholar."  "The book by the scholar" may in fact be preferable, because it keeps that distinction clear.  The point is not always to produce the shortest phrase, or the shortest sentence.  The whole purpose of this editing method is to help you be sure that you know exactly what you mean.  The result need not be shorter sentences:  when you are clear on your precise goals, you can then elaborate on the core of your sentence -- "scholars" can become "hardworking university scholars."  If you want to be specific, "their material" can become "their valuable but troublesome research material."

    By getting at the center of your sentences you can be sure that you have finished your thinking about your sentences -- that you have included the real ideas in the clearest and most appropriate ways.  Then, by adjusting your subjects and verbs accordingly, you can make sure you are also expressing your real ideas in the clearest and most appropriate ways.